Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
