Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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