Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am one with the molecules
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
