Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I faked an abortion last night.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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