Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
