I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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