did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize