My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
