He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
