the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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