The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize