At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm at about main and main street
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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