Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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