vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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