Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
