just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
