and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
