if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
