i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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