Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize