Hey man sorry I got all grabby
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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