I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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