Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
