i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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