He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
