I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We have started to decorate penises.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
