My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize