I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
