I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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