Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
