Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
