So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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