I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
