I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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