I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
