i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
