your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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