How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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