3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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