If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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