last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
