And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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