well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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