it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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