We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
