your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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