i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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