my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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