All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
50% drunk capacity currently
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
