The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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