he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hell yes lets make some ravioli
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
