did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
