marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
