Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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