i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
