i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
