I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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