look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
