So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize