Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
